On my 26th birthday today, I wanted to share the greatest 26 life lessons I’ve come to learn throughout these years.

Life Lesson Reflection Time

If there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that I am VERY into self development and growth. Every single day I try to add some self growth time into my morning routine. Throughout all the years of doing that, I make notes in my phone or in my journal, of things that really hit me or resonate with me or make me think, “YES”. These 26 life lessons I’m sharing today, are a collaboration of some of the greatest ones of those “ah hah moments” I’ve had.

I’ve realized one HUGE thing lately. I’m a recovering workaholic that never gives herself time to reflect on her achievements or simply just reflect on/process anything. So as part of my own self improvement journey, I’m taking time. Time to think about, reflect, and process, some of the greatest life lessons that have struck a cord in me. The things that have had a huge influence on my journey.

26 Life Lessons on my 26th Birthday

1. Get mentors and always have mentors in your life. If you want to be successful, find a mentor.

   One of the BIGGEST things I did this 26th year of my life, was invest financially for the first time in mentors and masterminds. But even before that, I’ve have mentors in my life from older mentors in my career field. To mentors for growing my business,. To mentors for my faith walk. To “mentors from afar” in every single podcast I listen to and book I read. I can genuinely say it’s been the greatest thing to always help me stay in growth mode. And also the thing that helps me get back on track when I fall into a state of complacency or stagnancy.

2. At some point in life, you will be made to feel too small, too big, or not enough.

   You might be walking along, doing your thing, being your awesome self, and you might stumble upon a magazine cover that turns your thoughts to your abs. Or a social media photo that makes you think of your imperfect skin, hair, or body. You might start to think you’re not thin enough,or that you’re too thin, or that you’re not talented enough, or simply, not beautiful enough. That you need to strive to be more “perfect” like the photos and videos you see daily.

   Those are all lies. There’s no such thing as perfect. The perfect body, the perfect relationship, the perfect life.  Tune out the voices, avoid comparing your behind the scenes with the highlight reels, and always remember who God tells you that you are. 

3. I truly think self love is often misused.

   I’m going to get some hate from this. But it’s something that I’ve seen happen a lot lately with the self-love movement. I believe we all SHOULD love ourselves now. Yet I’m a big believer that it ALSO involves always working on a better version of ourselves and not becoming complacent just because “I love myself”. 

4. The comparison game is truly the HARDEST thing not to fall into, but one of the most destructive things there is.

   It is extremely hard not to fall into the comparison game. Even as an influencer who encourages others not to. But man is it SO destructive. I’m not perfect at avoiding it myself like I said. But some thing that have really helped me are these 4 things.

   1) Focusing less on social media feeds, and more on real life. 2) Doing a feed cleaning every once in awhile and unfollowing any accounts that don’t give me positive vibes about myself. Even if they claim to be “inspirational” or trying to motivate you. 3) Stand in the mirror every single day and say positive affirmations out loud about your life and body. 4) Know that EVERYONE uses filters, good lighting, editing apps, and that ONE photo out of many that they actually liked. (Even those that claim to be all about authenticity and the real life.)

5. Don’t live by society’s push to grind, grind, grind — or else you’ll find yourself 10 years older in a possibly higher place  financially, but a lower place emotionally, mentally, physically, and relationally.

   Like I said, I’m a recovering workaholic. And I know that sounds funny. I even smile as I write those 2 words. But it was a serious problem. And still somewhat is. It’s funny how we entrepreneurs pride ourselves on not working a 9-5. Yet in reality, work many more hours than a 9-5 employee does typically. I don’t think I realized HOW bad I was at working way too much, until I met my now fiancé in January of 2018.

   All of a sudden, I didn’t know how to have a personal life and give time to someone I really thought was special. I wanted to be working all of the time. He’s helped me TREMENDOUSLY, by reminding me of one thing. That this “grind, grind, grind mentality”, will only leave me years down the road wishing. Wishing I could go back in time and experience those 10 years more fully. But even he will say I’m a work in progress. I’m definitely not all the way there yet. This driven, insanely passionate girl is trying!

   Thus, recovering workaholic, not recovered workaholic. But things to celebrate: I now don’t work most weekends (yes I used to work every weekend too). I try to shut off at certain times each day. I have less anxiety when I travel and have to step away from work now. Here’s a video my fiance B and I created on this exact “grind in your 20s” mentality. 

6. Be true to who you are, not who you think you should be. There are unique parts about you that will naturally make you stand out.

   It’s weird but I feel like we all strive to be unique. Yet we strive to do that by being anything but ourselves. But the only person that isn’t taken already, is YOU. For so long I thought I needed to be “this” to be successful, or “that” to be liked. I measured my worth in the amount of likes or comments I got that day. I felt like if I was ME, nobody would resonate with me or like who I was.

   But it is those unique traits I was embarrassed of or hid away, that made me, ME. And made me different from everyone else. And different is good, really good. If there’s anything I’d tell my younger self, it would be that you can’t be ANYthing, but you can be EVERYthing that you are.

7. Two fears that will hold you back the most: fear of what others think/will say, and fear of failure.

   You’ll have haters and naysayers. You’ll fail many times before succeeding. You’ve got to feel the fear of these two things, and then still do it. Do what is deep in your heart. I had SO many people tell me that I was dumb for not getting a “real job” out of my masters and dietetic internship program. I was told I got a degree for a reason. I also had SO much fear of failing and proving them all right.

   But I went against the fear trying to hold me back. I took the leap, and prayed to God for guidance. And I HAVE failed, more times than not. But the most important part is not letting the fear of these two things stop you. You can’t let that prevent you from starting today. You only fail when you stop trying. The others are just steps of growth, showing you what does and doesn’t work :). Here’s a video I made on tuning our the voices and fears right here.

8. You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

   Creating a winning environment is key. Surround yourself with those that uplift you, encourage you, inspire you to grow and become better, and give you joy. You can only be around negative people of those that don’t have big dreams like you for so long. Only so long before you begin settling for their lifestyle and mindset. This is something I didn’t do for the longest time. And it was when I began surrounding myself with big dreamers and doers, on similar missions as I am on, that I began experiencing great GROWTH.

9. The future is a sexy place. Let go of waiting to be ready.

   You are already ready, right in this moment. Feel the fear, do it anyways. I waited WAY too long to do the things I wanted to do, because of feeling like I wasn’t “ready”. I let my perfectionist, type-A personality hold me back from the passions and dreams deep within. But it’s the moment you stop waiting to feel ready or for things to be perfect. The moment you just DO, that amazing things come together. Here’s a quick video to watch if you’re waiting until a date in the future to start doing something.

10. Prioritizing and scheduling your days and weeks go a LONG way.

    This is more of a practical one, but it’s one thing I have my clients do every single week. I’ve  seen over and over how much it helps me when I personally do it. I’ve also seen it hurt me when I don’t. We all have good intentions. But when things are scheduled in, from workouts to YOU time to productivity hours to no phone time, it will rarely happen.

    Taking time each Sunday. To prioritize the “must get done”s. When you schedule in the things you want to make time for, it goes a long way. Set mini goals each week that help you reach your BIG goals over time.

11. Complacency ruins a lot of great things.

    In this video right here, my fiancé and I talk about how it can be the biggest relationship killer. But it can also be the killer to happiness if it shows up in your business, or friendships, or personal development areas of life. This is where the people you surround yourself with and the mentors you have in your life, can REALLY help.

    We are all prone to become complacent at one time or another. It’s just learning to become aware of it when it first begins to show up. And knowing how to fight against it before it takes residence in your different areas of life. 

12. Learn to say no. A lot. Be selfish.

    I used to be a yes girl. Will you do this? YES. I have an opportunity for you. YES. Will you come speak? YES. Will you work with me? YES. Will you help with this? YES. Y’all, it was killing me by saying yes to EVERYTHING. I felt like I couldn’t let anyone down, so therefore I had to say yes to everyone.

    You will never get any great place or make your own dreams come true or simply stay sane, if you’re not guarding your time by learning to say no. Let NO be your natural response in your head, until you can reason out why you should say yes.

13. Don’t settle for less than you are worth – in any area.

    This one is pretty self explanatory, but I see WAY too many people settling around me. Settling for okay jobs, okay healthy lifestyle, okay relationships, okay daily life. Because let’s be honest, OK is safe, it’s comfortable, it’s what allows you to totally shut off and go to happy hour, and satisfies your appetite in the short term in one area or another – financially, sexually, emotionally.

    But you know what OK is not? It’s not thrilling, or passionate, or the reason you wake up early excited, or stay up late passionately working on something. OK is not life-changing or unforgettable. And it’s definitely not the reason you risk everything for the smallest chance of something absolutely incredible happening. Can you please take THIS, #13, away from this post if nothing else? Please don’t settle. You deserve so much more.

14. Know when to let go of things/relationships that no longer serve you, grow you, or bring you joy.

    I’ve had to make hard decisions a few times in my 26 years of living that involved letting go of things that no longer served me in any good way. Here’s a video of one of those times. But this can be the HARDEST thing to do, because often it’s either people that have been in your life for a long time, or things that have become a part of just who you are, that are the things/people you need to let go. Toxicity will kill you. Rid the toxicity from your life — toxic people, toxic activities, toxic environments.

15. Put your phone down, and look up.

    Life will go on (and even be better) when you put your phone down. Being present is terribly hard, but so needed. I say this mostly for myself to remember that I need to still work on this, but maybe it will remind someone else out there. With my business being totally online, I used to make that the excuse as to why I was always on my phone.

    But I was missing what was happening in REAL TIME, because of being consumed and wrapped up with what was happening online. I am continuing to set stricter rules with this for myself, but one thing is to have a shut off hour where my phone goes on silent, and outside of it waking me up as my alarm the next day, I don’t look at it.

    Another thing is to not bring my phone to date nights with my fiancé, or walks with my best friend. As much as I want to document a lot of my life for the gram, it is totally unhealthy to always do so, and prevents us from ever being fully present. Here’s a video on this my fiance and I made in case you want more of our advice on how to balance technology and personal life!

16. You are not who you think you are. You are not who others think you are. You are, what you think, they think, you are.

    This was a good quote from Jay Shetty at the conference I just attended, Summit of Greatness by Lewis Howes. But after being confused for a hot second with it, I began realizing it was all too true. We embrace and begin acting the part, of who we think others see us as. Therefore, we aren’t who we think we are, and we aren’t even who others think we are. You are, who you think, others think, you are.

    Take a moment to let that fully absorb. Then take another second to think of who you want to be. And then begin believing that’s who you are and who others think you are. Funny enough, you’ll become that person quicker than you thought possible. There is power in the thoughts you think and the words you speak.

17. Change is inevitable.

    I used to HATE change. Seriously, every time a season a change would come, I would get anxious, stress, and crawl up into a ball as I bawled. No joke. I loved the comfortable. I loved the “norm”. I loved having my schedule and routines. And I absolutely HATED when any of those things changed. Then I began my new path of becoming a dietitian as I switched from a business major to a nutrition major, and I can’t help but to think God has a sense of humor.

    From the moment I started that new career path, the moment I was constantly (and constantly was an understatement), pushed out of my comfort zone and into “change”. I had no idea WHERE I’d end up for my internship post undergrad, until 2 months before I had to make the move. And then once in my internships and masters program, I learned to live out of my suitcase/car because of switching rotations and locations every 3-6 months.

    Now, I embrace and have learned to love change. I used to think change was a bad thing, and allowed it to create anxiety within. But now I’ve learned to see it as a good thing, as a growth thing, and as a natural push in the direction I’m suppose to run towards.

18. Invest in relationships, both old and new. Take time to call friends and family. Staying up late to deepen a relationship is often more important than waking up early and getting in that workout.

    This was one thing I used to truly believe I was so good about, but as I started my own business and was in the “workaholic” phase, I got worse and worse at this. Yet this is possibly the most important thing there is in life — RELATIONSHIPS. Your work will always be there, but if you’re realizing like I once did, that you’ve let good relationships go because of not taking time to call that friend up or take a trip to see them, you may want to begin setting some time aside for your relationships again.

    And going off of that, making time for creating new ones! Instead of being so wrapped up in our to-do lists, I challenge both you as I challenge myself as well, to set aside time to go to those events and get out in the community and simply be present in the spaces your life naturally takes you day to day — so that we can invest in those new relationships through simply taking time to get to know people. Not just “how are you” in passing, but I mean REALLY get to know them.

19. Being grateful every day is extremely healthy.

    So is incorporating journaling into your mornings/nights. It will keep you sane and decrease your stress and anxiety. I’ve realized I can’t be grateful and super stressed at the same time. If I begin feeling anxious, I try to quickly shift my focus to 3 things I’m grateful for. That’s why I included a spot to do just that in my Fresh Fit n Healthy 12-Week Journal. If you haven’t tried this whole “being grateful” thing or journaling, I highly suggest it. It may just be a game changer for your stress management and sanity 🙂

20. It’s OKAY to not be okay.

    I think sometimes we feel like we always have to be happy. We always have to be “feeling great” and have a huge smile on our faces. I want to let you know something. It’s O.K. to not be okay. You shouldn’t lie about your feelings, and it’s natural to not always feel super upbeat.

    Be honest with how your feeling, possibly lay them down in your new fresh fit n healthy journal, and then push ’em out with something positive. It’s much harder to just push something negative out without anything to replace it with. But when you shift to pushing positive things in, you’d be surprised at how easily the “negative” gets pushed out naturally.

    Sure, CRY. Please, it’s ok, I do it too. But then…Turn the bright lights on. Open the curtains. Blast the music. Break out in dance and song. Call a friend. Go on a walk and get some fresh air and sunshine. And push those not so great feelings out.

21. We are all just one step away from falling into that thing we said we never would. None of us are too strong on our own.

    You will fall into things/experience things you never imagined you would. Don’t just go through it, GROW through it. And if it was a bad choice of yours, learn what not to do next time. I’ve had some not so proud moments in my past, and fell into things I NEVER thought I would.

    Say, that time I used to laugh and say how I could never have an eating disorder because I loved food too much — and then fell into anorexia. That’s just one example of many. But the biggest thing to remember, is we all need support, we all need community, and we all need to be on guard against those temptations and pitfalls that none of us are immune to falling into. There are power in numbers, which is another number down below.

22. Falling in love is beautiful, yet very imperfect.

    I dreamed about falling in love. You know, the magical, perfect love where you never fight and just talk about all the great things in life and make out all the time without a worry in the world? Haha. Anyone who has fallen in love and engaged/married has to be laughing with me right now, because you’ve probably come to realize the same thing. Boy, falling is love IS beautiful. It IS thrilling. It IS a great surprise and the best curveball ever when it comes.

    But boy it is not the movie-perfect love that we all have in our minds due to said movies. I’m actually in awe that I’m writing about falling in love right now because the only relationship posts I’ve written on here for years are dealing with singleness.

    But I met my now fiancé back in January of this year as I write this in October 2018. It was surely a curveball that I wasn’t expecting. And it was SO exciting as we got to know each other and slowly (or quickly) fell in love (hello engagement 6 months in haha). But it has been anything but perfect! Because let’s be honest, we’re human. And we’ve come to realize as we step closer and closer each day to marriage, that love is imperfect and it’s a daily choice of saying YES to each other, no matter what you may be feeling.

    It’s about pushing out complacency with new growth and quality time. It’s about love that person despite all the flaws you begin seeing, and realizing that when you love someone, it doesn’t mean everything will be perfect or that there won’t be disagreements.

    It just means you found the person that brings out the best in you, complements you, pushes you to become better. And the one you want to fight WITH through life’s battles and negative feelings. And goodness is it an incredible beautiful thing to have that “PIL” (partner in life as we call it), to walk through this crazy chaotic world with.

    Falling in love is it’s own imperfect fairytale. Read my story on how I fell in love this 26th year of life from how we met to the day of the engagement! 

23. Living in community is a necessity to become your best self.

    This is something I’ve mentioned above in other life lessons I’ve learned throughout the years, but boy is this a big one. Surrounding yourself with community and accountability is so important in becoming your best. The times I’ve felt complacent in life, are the times I realized I lacked that community and accountability.

    My small group at church where I’m surrounded by those that push me to become better, my close friend group in college that no matter how far physically, will text me and ask me how my heart is and what they can be praying for, my family who is my closest community and greatest source of love outside of God’s love — these are parts of my community and “inner circle” that help me continually be in a state of growth.

24. Eat the chocolate. Fall in love with the guy. Send the email. Quit the job. Jump off the high dive. Hire the coach. Write the book. NOW.

    There is NO BETTER TIME, then right now. Life is too short. Do that one thing you’ve been wanting to do. Take chances. Go against the current when it feels right. BE YOU and REACH for those big goals! Again, don’t settle for less than what you’re called for – you have a GREAT future in store, believe it, and take those steps today.

25. Every single day, WE HAVE A CHOICE, to change our current quality of life.

    It is SO easy to fall into the blame game. To blame people or outside influences for our current situation. And I am not trying to downplay some really hard things that I know have happened in your life, or some really crappy situations where people have severely hurt you.

    But when my dad broke apart my family for the second time, when my mom’s boyfriend of 5 years committed suicide and his family blamed us for his unhappiness, when I fell into my eating disorder and felt like there was no point to living any longer because nobody liked me and my life was in shattered pieces.

    I had to come to this realization. Sure, I could blame the things that had happened in my life, the people that had caused pain in my life — or I could decide I had a choice to change my quality of life. That every morning I woke up, I could decide to stay in the valley of self pity and continue slowly killing myself (both figuratively and literally), or I could begin to take steps toward healing and towards making the hard trek out of the valley and to the mountain top of physical health and mental health, and begin reaching my God potential and chasing after my greatest passions.

    I had the choice. I still have the choice every day. And so do you.

26. When all else fails, faith it ’til you make it 🙂 (love these tanks? Tshirts/Tanks available in many colors here at my store!)

 

So I hope you enjoyed these life lessons I’ve come to take to heart throughout my 26 years of life so far. I’d love for you to share it out if it did resonate! And I’d love to hear from YOU. What is a life lesson you’ve been influenced by? Which one from this list stood out to you?

Until next time…

xo, SG