Do you tend to focus on becoming Mr./Mrs. Right, or finding Mr./Mrs. Right? Here are some of my thoughts on it and ways you can better yourself as you wait 🙂
Disclaimer: This isn’t really food related.. Okay this has NOTHING to do with food.
But sometimes, I like to share other aspects of my life, like random thoughts and feelings. It is just another part of my journey. And sometimes I think that’s important to see. Me being..well, a real person. Someone that doesn’t only make recipes, workout, and take photography of food. I hope my thoughts today can resonate with someone else out there too, or that maybe midway through, that you begin thinking of someone that could use it <3
So it all began as I listened to a sermon the other day online. If you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know my faith and my love for Christ are very important to me. And in my free time I’ve been having lately because of it being summer, I’ve tried to use some of the time in simply reading and listening to things that will help me grow (instead of what usually takes over my attention in this world like all the social media and mindless distractions out there).
But one thing I have to admit, as a 22 year old that has just graduated from college, I can’t help but to wonder..when will I meet HIM. When will I meet a guy that I truly fall in love with..or for that matter..just meet SOMEONE that is worth dating. Sometimes I feel like there is NO one out there.
But then I listened to this sermon on becoming somebody instead of finding somebody..and I was instantly convicted.
I feel like ever since my breakup last year with my boyfriend of 3 years..I have been “on the look out”. Maybe not RIGHT away, but soon enough I was hoping to have another great guy come into my life..only to be prettty disappointed. (can I get an amen ladies?)
See, I realize now that I’ve been focusing on the wrong thing. I’ve been focusing on FINDING somebody, instead of BECOMING somebody. Instead of working on myself and my flaws in order to be ready onhealthy ativan when I DO meet somebody..I’ve been focusing on trying to look continuously for someone who “meets the criteria”.
When really, what better time than the present to work on MYSELF? On my own weaknesses that have come up one one or more occasions?
If there is one thing I now see..it is that I need to work on BECOMING somebody {that someone else would want to date}, instead of striving to FIND somebody {that I want to date}. And as I do that..I am in full belief that the right person will come into my life <3
Tips for myself/others in the same boat + things to do in your singleness?
- Acknowledge my flaws, and create steps I can take to grow in those areas.
- Pursue my interests and passions instead of a relationship: when the time is right, it will come naturally.
- Tell myself and truly believe that I am beautiful, without needing to hear it from a guy — Creating self confidence is key before entering any relationship.
- Deal with any “baggage” that may be in your life: it will be a lot easier to enter a healthy relationship when this is first dealt with 🙂
- Ask for feedback: you know the friends in your life that will tell you the truth, go to them for advice and things you could be working on
- Find happiness on my own, in my own life; not in a guy. Trying to find your happiness or fulfillment in someone else will never lead to anything healthy.
- Don’t look for a guy to “complete you”. Two people in a relationship should “complement each other”, but they should also be “whole” on their own.
- Get out of your comfort zone. Great things never come out of being comfortable.
- Let go of the past. No healthy relationship will come from comparing it to something of the past.
- Don’t ever settle. If you find yourself “bending” your standards..it’s a red flag. Trust me, GOOD GUYS do exist. (or at least I’d like to have faith that they do!)Â Don’t settle for less than you deserve
What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear other’s perspectives on this! <3