This week I was blessed with being able to talk to Alyssa Bethke about how she maintains a healthy family relationship, as well as staying happy and healthy as a mother!
3 Keys for a Healthy Family
Even though I haven’t taken on the momma role yet, I’ve gotten to work with a lot of mommas as their dietitian. I’ve seen 3 factors play into the health of their overall family: your own health, the health of your relationship with your spouse, and then your overall family environment health. So I really want to dive into all 3 of these today!
But first a little about my good friend Alyssa: Alyssa and her husband Jeff run their own business together, as well as write books, have their own podcast and more! All while raising 3 kids and maintaining a healthy family environment built on God’s word.
Listen to How to Build a Healthy Family Environment Here, or Keep Reading Below
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How to Build a Healthy Family Environment
The health of our families starts with your health as the momma of the home, so I want to chat a little more specifically about that before switching to creating an overall healthy family environment too.
Taking Care of YOU
Taking care of YOU as the mother of the home with a million other things to do is so important! I’m not a mother yet and I too have to schedule time for myself with my busy life! Dont wait until you hit the floor from exhaustion, or let things pile up until every small thing feels like the end of the world. Take time for yourself before then! Not once you reach the tipping point. A really good piece of advice Alyssa gave was to schedule your self care time in every week..no matter what that looks like for you. Whatever activity fills you up and makes your soul feel good. Some of Alyssas favorites are painting, and having quiet time so that she can recharge.
Take time for yourself so you can take care of others
When you feel your best, you’ll have more energy to love the people around you. Its so important not to neglect your own wellbeing when life gets crazy! If possible ask your spouse to watch the kids for an hour so you can have some peace and quiet! Im empowering you to say no and set boundaries. Protect the little quiet time you can carve out for yourself throughout the week!! Maintaining your health as a momma is so vital in having a healthy family overall!!
Finding Your Identity As A Mother
With social media these days its so easy to get caught up in comparing whats going on with you to everyones “perfect” lives on instagram. Dont forget that everything you see is just a highlight reel!! Alyssa talks a lot about embracing the season that God has chosen for you no matter what that looks like. For Alyssa this looks like serving others the best way she can by praying while at home taking care of her kids.
” I ask the Lord what season he wants for me and how I can be healthy and flourish during it “
No matter what plan God currently has for you whether its homeschooling your kids, or working long hours at work its so easy to compare your season to someone else’s, and get caught up in what you think your life should look like. A really good piece of advice to help with this is deleting social media for a day or two, whatever it takes to avoid falling in the comparison trap!
Let’s Talk Body Image
Alyssa’s course Finding Freedom is all about breaking free from the lies we tell ourselves and have been taught about the way we should or shouldn’t look. She shares some of her advice from this course with us!!
Alyssas number one piece of advice when it comes to overcoming the years of constant lies we tell ourselves is finding a mentor! Having someone you can call and be honest with is one thing, but having someone who will call you out is another. Letting another person you trust speak truth to your misbeliefs helps retrain your mind out of the toxic chains society puts on us. Be brave and take the first step by reaching out to someone! Build a lifeline you can trust to grab onto when the waters get rough. Alyssa also memorized scripture to help her break through her bad body image. Verses such as ” I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” are great affirmation to repeat to yourself when you need a reminder that you were built in Gods image, just the way he wanted.
Now that we’ve covered being a healthy momma lets move onto another important topic.
Health With Our Spouse
Alyssa and her husband literally write books on this kinda stuff so be prepared for some pretty good advice. Having a healthy marriage paves the foundation for a healthy family. I hope you love and use these tips for healthy marriage!
- Grow Individually First
Whoever said you need to find your other half was wrong. You are complete and whole all by yourself. Growing as an individual before coming together as one is so important for marriage. Finding your person won’t magically solve any of your problems like in the movies we watch as little girls. You must be healthy yourself first to have a healthy marriage!
- Wake Up Every Day And Choose Them Daily
Choose Jesus and your husband. Actively choose every day to continue to grow as a best friends and companions with you husband. Choosing Jesus means accepting his way is the right way. Growing your relationship based on the bible includes following teachings such as humble yourself, be slow to anger and quick to listen. Fight daily for your relationship!!
- Finding Creative Ways To Love & Encourage The Other
A couple of Alyssa’s tips for finding creative ways to love your person when you’re busy are simply picking them up a candy bar while you’re checking out at the store. Or writing 5 things you love about them on the mirror for them to see when they wake up in the morning. Letting your partner know that you love and choose them is so important and can keep the relationship interesting. Another simple yet good one is writing your spouse a little love note. Even something like telling them how thankful and appreciative they took out the trash makes a difference!
Switching over to the health of our families as a whole
Ok so we’ve covered being staying healthy as a mom, and with our spouse lets get into the family overall!!
- Set Visions, Dreams, And Goals For Your Family
Sit down with your family and decide what your family to be known as. You can then set exact goals on how to get there. I lovee this idea for a family to do!! Alyssa pointed out how businesses are known for having visions, goals in order to be successful yet families rarely do.
- Create Scheduled Family Time
Every Friday night The Bethke’s have a family dinner as well as a date night, Saturdays are a phone free family day followed by a movie night. Creating set time for your family to hangout and get some quality time in so you know those days are locked in and cant be rescheduled.
- Don’t Be Afraid To Say No
Saying no not only protects your sacred family time but allows you some well deserved rest. It’s not selfish to put your family first and say no to coffee with a friend, or even staying late to finish work. Alyssas family also has a business meeting Sunday night where they reevaluate commitments, and decide which ones they no longer feel like doing. Don’t be afraid to say no even if you’ve already said yes! If a prior commitment is draining, or doesn’t help you grow it can go!
“God made us to do work, but to do work from a place of rest”
Want to find out more about Alyssa?
Alyssa’s Website: Click here
Alyssas Instagram: click here
Alyssas Books and Programs: click here