Feeling a little down about coming to yet another February 14th without having a special person in your life to celebrate with? You aren’t alone. There are many out there feeling the exact same way. But I want to offer a little note of encouragement and love to you.
To All My Single Ladies on Valentine’s Day:
Whether this is your first February 14th in a long time without someone special, or this is another of many in a row, you are not alone. Whether you are torn up on the inside after a recent break up, or the phrase “Galentine’s Day” and “Single Awareness Day” is part of your life’s vocabulary now… deep down, we all have a similar longing.
A girl’s heart is created to long for, to excitedly await for, finding that special someone. To experiencing that moment of “wow, I never thought I’d feel this way about anyone” or that aha moment of “I know he’s the one”. That person that they can share special moments with, that person they can love, simply, that person they can “do” life with. So don’t think your silly for longing for something like it to. Many of my close friends are there. I’m there. We are all in it together.
But that being said, February 14th is just another day of the year. Don’t let February 14th bring you more sadness or awareness of being alone than any other day. EMBRACE this time of singleness. Find JOY in your singleness. Find PURPOSE in your free time that you won’t always have. Be GRATEFUL for what you do have, instead of what you don’t have. Trade in your SHAME of still being single, for THANKFULNESS that you have had the courage and strength to wait for the one you truly deserve instead of settling. And most importantly, have FAITH that in perfect timing, the one man WILL walk into your life, and make you realize the wait was well worth it.
And don’t think I’m just preaching to you all, because I’m taking my own advice with this one too.
Our world tends to put many things into our minds. Many things that unfortunately, are not true. And one of the greatest lies circulating, especially around February 14th? That having a man in your life will make you happy. LIE. Kind of like the lies that more money = more happiness, or more “likes” = more worth…
I may not have the experience of being married, but I DO know one thing: if you are not presently content and happy on your own, no PERSON or thing will give you that happiness. It may for a short while, but anything and everyone on this earth is temporary. Things quickly wear down and fade away, and people will always disappoint you at one time or another. We’re humans, that’s what we do. No one is perfect. And if you aren’t fully satisfied alone, you won’t be fully satisfied in a relationship either.
Create a life you LOVE, that you don’t feel the need to be “rescued” from by any man. That way, if and when he comes into your life, he only adds that much more happiness… that way, the joy he adds to your life makes your cup overflow, instead of just filling it. You never want to expect anyone to FILL that cup except for Jesus, because that leads to disappointment and unrealistic expectations. But if you already have a life that is filled with joy and contentment, a healthy relationship and loving man will make your life overflow with joy.
So to all my single ladies out there this February 14th, I want to challenge you to find JOY this time around in 2016. Be content with where life has you right now, and seek out what purpose you’re meant to serve in this season of singleness.
I want to lead you off with some food for thought that I will also be taking to heart.
15 Reminders this Valentines Day
- Be Thankful
- We may not have a man this Valentine’s Day, but many do not have a mother on Mother’s Day, or a father on Father’s Day. Be thankful for what you do have, and focus on those things instead of what you don’t have.
- You are Single, and you are FABULOUS
- Being single should never define your happiness. Know your worth, remind yourself how great of a woman you are, and wait for that special one that DESERVES you.
- You are the CAKE, the relationship is just the Icing
- Without the icing, the cake is still a cake…and GREAT on it’s own. Don’t think of a relationship as a needed ingredient to make the cake complete. Think of it as the icing on top, that only makes what you already are happy and content about, even better.
- Create a life you LOVE, so that you don’t seek a man to “fill” that void and emptiness as your onhealthy ponstel savior or knight in shining armor.
- YOU call the shots and have a freedom others don’t
- unlike those in relationships, you can FULLY follow your passions, your desires, and your greatest longings without having to consider a second person’s wants and needs. You can travel where you want to travel, move where you want to move, take that job offer you’ve been working for, ect. Even though a relationship does add joy and love, it also adds commitments you have to consider before your own needs and desires.
- Love when you are READY, not when you are LONELY
- Loving because you are lonely is a RECIPE FOR DISASTER. I’m sure you see it all the time around you. People become desperate for love, for marriage, and they settle. Don’t settle. Uphold yourself, know your worth, work on YOU and creating a life you love, and then and only then, love when you are ready
- Learn to love yourself before you ask someone else to
- If you don’t see value and beauty in yourself as a single woman, if you don’t truly love yourself…how can you ask someone else to? Work on finding a humble confidence, in seeing your value and beauty, and in fully loving the person you are. Only when you truly love yourself, will any love from a man be fully accepted, fully appreciated, and fully reciprocated. And that is the only way a flourishing relationship will begin.
- Whether or not love ever arrives, choose to believe you are going to THRIVE
- Don’t get caught in that dangerous, “when I finally meet a guy…then I will be happy and begin my life”. Start now. Pursue what you’re passionate about, what gives you joy. Don’t wait around for a man to begin your life, or try to strategically plan your life around your hope of finding a man. Pursue YOUR greatest desires and passions. And call me crazy, but I fully believe when we do that, we will just happen to run into someone that happens to be chasing the same things as we are, someone that perfectly aligns with our lives.
- “Good Enough” doesn’t have to be Good Enough for YOU
- I have people in my life constantly trying to set me up and make me feel like I should be dating just to date and have fun. But guess what? I don’t listen to what’s “good enough” in other’s eyes. I know my value, I know I’m a child of God, and I will wait until my standard of good enough comes along. And you should to. Don’t even let settling be an option.
- Your happiness, self-confidence, and worth is not dependent on your relationship status
- I think I have said this once or twice already in this post…but I’ll say it again. Our joy, our self-confidence, and our worth will NOT be found in a relationship if we haven’t already found it in our singleness. All of those things can be enhanced by a loving person, but we must first find those on our own.
- It takes a healthy ME to become a healthy WE
- Any more words needed? I loved this when I read it somewhere. We must be healthy and happy on our own before we can have a happy and healthy relationship. Seeking someone else to complete us or validate us…is only a recipe for disaster.
- Before you’re ready to wear a diamond, you want to become one.
- This quote was beautiful to me. We should work on becoming a beautiful woman, a woman that our future husband would want, before ever thinking of marriage or a relationship. Let’s take this time of singleness to do just that. Let’s become diamonds before wearing one.
- TRUST in God’s Perfect Timing
- We must have faith that in every single moment of our singleness, we are being transformed into the strong, beautiful, refined women we are meant to be. We must believe that God has someone out there for us, so that we don’t kill ourselves from exhaustion by looking high and low every room we enter for our future husbands (kinda kidding, but kinda actually was my life in the past). Let’s commit to trusting in His timing, so that in the meantime, we can fulfill our purpose as confident, beautiful, single women.
- FEBRUARY 14th CAN STILL BE FULL OF FUN, CHOCOLATE, LOVE & JOY
- Promise me right here and now that tomorrow, you will do something fun with a family member or friend, filled with yummy treats and lots of chocolate, as you celebrate YOU and the 13 reminders above!
- Start off the day with thinking of all the things you are thankful for.
- Take time out of the day to call someone you haven’t talked to in awhile.
- And of course, bake yourself my delicious, SINGLE LADIES CHOCOLATE CAKE…because we all deserve it 🙂
